A guy just came to my house while I was home alone to ask if I was single why are men like this
Okay y'know what I’m gonna soapbox for a hot minute
When I was in high school, a man who I’d thought was the parent of a school friend followed me out to the grocery store parking lot greenhouse where I worked. It was dark, and late, and it was me, alone, in a chain link enclosure with one exit and a register full of cash. He called me up to the fence and asked if I wanted to get dinner, or go dancing. I was scared and shaking and told him no several times, and he only left when I falsely said I had a boyfriend. I was very aware that if he were to come over the fence, or just wait at the exit until I eventually had to leave, I could do nothing about it.
When my hair was very short, a hairdresser sent me to the barber’s side of the store so they could get the back of my head with clippers. The barber followed me out to my car to ask me out afterwards. I was very aware that we were the only people in the parking lot when it happened, and that the lot itself was tucked behind the building with no clear visibility to the road.
Today, a man I’ve met once made it very clear he knows where I live, and used that knowledge to express a romantic interest. If he ever decides that he’s unhappy with how I responded, he knows where I live. He knows what my car looks like. It is impossibly easy for him to determine when I’m home alone, and now I have to live with that knowledge.
Every woman I know has at least one story like this. My roommate had to be escorted to her car every night when she was a waitress, in case some man was waiting for her or a coworker’s shift to end.
If the person you want to ask out cannot physically run away from you when you are asking, YOU CANNOT ASK THEM OUT. You cannot ask someone out if they are at work. You cannot ask someone out if you’ve followed them to a remote/unoccupied/enclosed area. You cannot GO TO SOMEONE’S HOME UNINVITED to ask them out. You are not being romantic. You are not “taking initiative”. You are terrifying the person you want to woo. If they say yes, it is not because they want to, it is because they are terrified of what might happen if they say no.
I’m so tired of being terrified by men who think they’re being romantic.
“Every woman” you say. Do you personally know every woman in the world? Don’t presume to speak for others, and don’t make this a gendered issue either.
Actually every woman in the world is in one big group chat and they’re all telling you to fuck off
how we act alone when we don’t feel like we have witnesses.. that is the genuine self.. me walking around my room punching the air talking to myself in a bad southern accent, that’s ME baby. you’re never going to know me like i know me. haha.
I have sent out over 90 job applications since January 2nd and the only job that hit me back was a pyramid scheme I’m about go fucking crazy. I have a little under two months before I’m literally on-the-street homeless again, and if that happens I’m literally going to lose my mind. I don’t know what else I can do but keep trying, I’m begging you to keep me in your prayers.
I’m thiiiiiiiiiiis close to just selling ass at this point, I refuse to lay my head on the concrete ever again.
For those offering help I really appreciate it
You can help by messaging me job fairs you see in NYC, places around the city you see hiring, or donating @ www.PayPal.me/cosmicnoir 💕
I know you guys have helped me before, and I feel so guilty for even needing it again… but rn I just really need to survive.
As always, kind words are also accepted. And to the girl that hugged me on the train this morning, if you see this, please drop your handle because letting me cry on your shoulder this morning meant the world to me.
